revisited

havent been here for a long long time...
well, not since i have xanga...

this is actually a very significant place for me...
it's a place where i begin all of these things...
and when i look back,
i realized that my past years have been rich...

sometimes...
people tend to forget abt their lives...
when it all seem dull and meaningless,
things are actually happening every day...

and if you dont record those instinct feelings down,
for me, it's easy to forget...

and when i look back,
i suddenly realize life isnt so bad anyway...

even no one ever come anymore,
this is a place full of memories and fantasies...
i hope to reopen it someday...
but i duno how to keep my posts in both sites...
oh well...

Xanga

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=jung7311

I havent decided whether to close down this site or not...
but for now, I won't...

There are a lot of memories,
and i'm not ready to let go yet.

What Age Do You Act?

You Are 19 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

You are the Sunshine of my Life

You are the sunshine of my life
That's why I'll always be around
You are the apple of my eye
Forever you'll stay in my heart

I feel like this is the beginning
Though I loved you for one million years
But if I thought our love was ending
I'd find myself drowning in my own tears

You are the sunshine of my life
That's why I'll always be around
You are the apple of my eye
Forever you'll stay in my heart

You must have known that I was lonely
Because you came to my rescue
And though I know that this is heaven
How could so much love be inside of you

You are the sunshine of my life
That's why I'll always be around
You are the apple of my eye
Forever you'll stay in my heart
I will always be around...

蝴蝶

當這世界已經準備將我遺棄
像一個傷兵被留在孤獨荒野裡
開始懷疑我存在有沒有意義
在別人眼裡我似乎變成了隱形
難道失敗就永遠翻不了身
誰來挽救墮落的靈魂

每次一見到你 心理好平靜
就像一隻蝴蝶飛過廢墟
我又能活下去 我又找回勇氣
你的愛像氧氣幫忙我呼吸
我又能呼吸 我又能呼吸
你就是不願意放棄

生命充滿亂七八糟的問題
像走在沒有出口的那個迷宮裡
一次又一次只會用藉口逃避
怎麼你從來沒對我徹底的死心

我有何德何能值得你珍惜
為何你對我有求必應

每次一想到你 像雨過天晴
看見一隻蝴蝶飛過廢墟
是那麼的美麗 就像一個奇蹟
讓我從倒下的地方站起
只要一靠近你 就覺得安心 :-)
你看著我的眼沒有懷疑
你對我的相信 讓我又能重生
不管世界多冷我還有你...

我有你...

愛我這樣的人對你來說不容易
我的痛苦你也經歷
你是唯一
陪我到天堂與地獄

每次一想到你 像雨過天晴
看見一隻蝴蝶飛過了廢墟
我能撐得下去 我會忘了過去
是你讓我找回新的生命

每次一見到你 就心存感激
現在我能坦然面對自己
我會永遠珍惜 我會永遠愛你
在我心底的你的位置沒有人能代替

你就是那唯一

世上最愛的就是妳

世上最愛的就是妳
by 平井 堅

作詞 平井 堅
作曲 Makoto Kuriya

世界最愛的就是妳
第一次有這種心情
連我自己都感動萬分
想對妳證明愛的堅毅

假設妳現在身受重傷
大量出血而昏迷不醒
我一定驅車奔往醫院
以300公里的時速衝過246號陸橋

望著病床上沈睡的妳
我會對醫生這麼呼喊
『把我的血輸給她吧』
『把我的血輸給她吧』
『把我的血全部給她』

世上最愛的就是妳
世上最愛的就是妳
世上最喜歡的就是妳
世上最愛的就是妳
世上最愛的就是妳
世上沒有人比我還要愛妳
但是我是B型妳卻是O型
我無法輸血給妳

世上最愛的就是妳
第一次有這種心情
連我自己都感動萬分
想對妳證明愛的深厚
如果我現在要紋身
我會如此請求對方
『在我背上大大刺上』
『在我背後大大刺上』
『大大刺上妳的名字』

世上最愛的就是妳
世上最愛的就是妳
世上最喜歡的就是妳
世上最愛的就是妳
世上最愛的就是妳
世上沒有人比我還要愛妳
但是 倘若我們分手
這些應該可以抹去吧

假設妳搭乘的太空船
突然遭到外星人侵襲
『立即乘坐火箭』
『立即乘坐火箭』
『我要乘坐火箭前去解救妳』

世上最愛的就是妳
世上最喜歡的就是妳
世上最愛的就是妳
世上最愛的就是妳
世上沒有人比我還要愛妳
外星人妳不用怕啊
在電影裡都已經看過了

世上最愛的就是妳
世上最愛的就是妳
世上最喜歡的就是妳
世上最愛的就是妳
世上最愛的就是妳
世上最愛的就是妳
世上沒有人我還要愛妳
我要大聲向神發誓

世上最愛的
世上最愛的
世上最愛的
最愛的就是妳

感激我遇見

靠向我身邊　你帶笑卻無言
在落寞情況　常贈我明天
縱會有辛酸　有了你
我願擔起每天　狂風中也熱戀

伴我高低起趺幸運及那失意天
並說聲多甘心及情願
過每天

情懷是因你溫暖
衝擊於心裡邊
全情愛我　熱情熱愛加添
唯獨是可愛的臉
手挽手肩並肩
有緣碰見
仍留在我身邊
心　真摰倍添　愛倍添
蕩來這段緣　這段緣
不知怎去講　感激我遇見

Hole In The World

[Chorus:]
There's a hole in the world tonight.
There's a Cloud of fear and sorrow.
There's a hole in the world tonight.
Don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow.

They say that anger is just love disappointed.
They say that love is just a state of mind,
but all this fighting over who is anointed.
Oh how can people be so blind

[Chorus]

Oh they tell me there's a place over yonder,
cool water running through the burning sand,
until we we learn to love one another
we will never reach the promise land.

[Repeat chorus]

2005/9/4 Conversation with my dad

J=Jung
B=Ben

On Nature, On God...

J: so why do u think God let things happen like this
B: it has nothing to do with God
J: but the nature
B: these things happening more and more
J: yes... but isnt him in control
J: many arent supposed to die
B: much is from the destruction of the earth and its atmosphere
B: God can stop it if He wants to
J: so why didnt he
B: but God has given man free will and also allowed the world to go its course
J: but he did help in some cases, and not in others
B: yes
B: it is up to Him
J: and no one understands, right?
B: we cannot dictate God
B: but we cannot blame God
J: can we question then?
B: of course la
B: questioning is good
B: it means we are thinking
B: thinking faith is good
J: but there will be no answer
J: so why question
B: i do not think there is no answer at all
B: when God created the world, it was in very good condition
B: God ask man to manage the world
J: so what do u say... "is God fair?"
B: God is fair
B: of course
J: some people are born unlucky
J: some are born rich and easy
J: some kids are destined to die in few years
B: rich and easy does not mean better
B: hard life does not mean not so good
J: but kids are born then die in few monthes
J: is that fair
J: they dun have a choice to live
B: we are all going to die
B: some will die early some will die late
J: so will they even have a chance to go to heaven
B: of course they will
B: kids go to heaven when they die
B: they are God's children
J: but shouldnt everyone has the right to live
J: to make choices
B: when man in poor it is often man's problem
J: God gives us the right to make our own choices
B: yes
B: why are the poor nations poor?
J: yes, it may be their government's problem
J: but not their own
J: it maybe cause of the world, politics, economic
B: yes
B: the have suppressing the have nots
J: but isnt it still... should be fair?
J: coz when we are born, we have no sin
B: but the world has sin
B: so we need to help the world to go back to God
B: so the world can be better
B: that is what i am dedicating my life to do
B: that is what mission is all about
B: in our mission teams we do not give money to people
B: we help them to live a life for themselves
J: i jst think if God is the prince of peace... he should at least help
B: that is why the chruch is here to do
J: what abt god himself
B: Jesus is the head and we are the body
B: God is changing our lives so that we can do it for Him
J: he can stop the storm if he wanted to
B: sometimes he does
B: but some times he does not
J: that's the point...
B: if i go out to kill someone
B: god can stop me
B: but sometimes he does not
B: if god take over every time, then we are just robots
J: but this is nature... and god creates the nature
B: yes
B: but nature can be destroyed by man
B: we destroy the ozone layer by our pollution
B: we cut doen the trees so the flood is worse
J: if god feels sorry to watch this happen... why doesnt him help...
B: he is
J: that's the point... he sees things happen... he weeps, he feels sorry for it... but he lets it happen
B: we do the same
B: when chan yan wants to leave home
B: tony feels sad
B: he weeps
B: but he still let her go
B: god cannot stop everything
J: he doesnt have absolute control in her
J: but god does in nature
B: god does not
B: death is also a part of the natural
B: god does not stop everyone dying
B: if you drop from the roof you will get hurt
B: that is natural
B: god can stop you but he does not do it every time
J: i see...
J: so should we count on him
J: if he doesnt do it everytime
B: we can call
B: but it is his freedom to decide
J: he doesnt need to answer
B: yes
J: so how can we have faith
B: we can have faith that what he said will happen
B: but we cannot make him do what he did not say he will do
J: if he didnt say it then it's hard to have faith...
B: you do not have faith in nothing
B: faith must be based on some truth
B: or some character
B: you can trust your dad
B: that is character
B: it is a believe in someone's character
J: so it takes statistics to see if it is worth to have faith
J: but god may fail us
J: coz he doesnt choose to answer
B: man sometimes fail you
B: God will not fail
B: what God promise to do he will do
J: even things that are reasonable... he may not answer
B: if he said he will do then it will happen
J: how do we know what he promises outside the bible
B: we do not
B: that is why the bible is important
J: so everything base on the bible
B: yes
B: but sometimes God speaks to us personally
B: then we can trust those words
B: that is why we must learn to listen to his voice
B: your dad promised to take you to see nba
B: that is a promise
B: so i did
B: that is both my word and my character
B: but some times i forget
B: that is because i am human
B: but God will not
J: so if we ask sth from god... then we need to look in the bible to see if he has promised or not
B: we need to see if it is a part of his character
B: if the bible does not say for sure
B: we cannot say it will definitely happen
B: but we can still ask
J: so it invovles guessing
B: it is relying
B: like i ask you to help me
B: i cannot order you
B: but i apeal to you
J: isnt it like a blind trust then
B: no
J: if it does not happen, we say "it's ok, god chose not to do"
J: if it happens, we praise him
B: because we do have the word
B: we know he will be true to his word
B: do you trust your dad?
J: yes
B: is that blind faith
B: just because i may not do everything you ask me to do?
B: no
B: but you trust me to love you and will sacrifice for you
B: because i said i will
J: but because i can ask u, and u can tell me if u promise or not
J: it's hard to ask for sth from god then
B: but it is my freedom to promise or not
J: yes i understand
B: but i can still ask
B: i can trust that he loves me
B: because his word says so
J: so not all people can ask from god... if they duno the bible or they duno how to listen for god
B: yes
B: that is why we need to do mission
J: i see..
B: let them know the bible
J: i understand now
B: you can trust that i love you deeply
B: so it is with God

On Life

B: i miss you so much
J: :-)
B: one time you said to me that you wish you will not grow up
J: oh really? when??? haha
B: that you can sleep on my stomach all the time
J: =.="
B: when you were really small
J: yea i bet
B: sleeping on my stomach
J: haha
J: things are much simplier when we are kids
B: your know i feel like that often
B: i sometime wish you all do not grow up so that i can have you with me all the time
J: yea... parents...
B: but now you all are grown
B: you have your own life
B: i miss you all
B: but i love you to live your own life
J: i'd like to also
B: just want to bless you
B: i do not want to control you at all
B: you know that is what i am like
B: just want to bless you and help if you want my help
B: facilitate is the word
J: but not everyone can live their own life i think
B: you are such a good kid
B: i trust you fully
B: keep being yourself
B: you have the love of God in you
J: i dun think i'm a good christian
B: what is a good christian?
B: my turn to ask, haha
J: i dun read the bible, i dun really wanna go to church, and i do what the bible tells not to
J: but i do believe in God and his love
J: that's why sometimes i question
B: well you will
B: i have faith in you
B: going to church does not make you a good christian
B: trusting in God does
J: but what if there's so much sin
B: we all are sinners
B: otherwise we do not need god
J: and sometimes i do things even i know i shouldnt
B: we all do
B: that is why we need god
J: yes...
B: we all have a streak of rebellion in us
J: but i trust him, then keep doing things he doesnt like
B: but god loves us anyway
B: you will improve
B: i still love you
J: i think my influence are not really influence of christianity
J: but myself
B: i think it is the life you live
B: but you are living god's life without knowing
B: it is inbuild in you
B: it is god in you
B: it is love in you
J: i hope so
B: it is integrity
B: i sense that in you
B: i like to be your friend as well
J: haha
B: mom sometimes worries about you
J: not sometimes... it's always... =.="
B: but i do not
B: i sense god in you
J: but dun u think i'm so different from Jem...
B: no
B: not different with jem
B: she is 2 years older
B: she went through your stage as well
B: she has more purpose now
B: i love her so as well
J: she's living more like a model life
J: a life everyone would like
B: she has always been very conscious of what others think of her
J: yea i bet
J: i can tell
B: so she always try to be good
B: sometimes very hard life for her
J: that's why i said i'm different... coz sometimes i dun wanna care what others think
J: i try to be different
B: yeah
B: you are not afraid to be you
B: you are not afraid to be different
J: i'm afraid, but still wanna fight that sense of caring what others think
B: i am like you
J: i care what others think, that's why i think life is so hard
J: especially the life i'm born with
B: that is why i am attracted to you
J: but i still wanna fight back
B: i like your fighting back
J: between good and bad... obeying and fighting
B: yeah
B: be a fighter
J: in between of everything
B: all your life it is like that
B: we fight all our lives
B: if you stop fighting you lose
J: i have frds who are such good students and live a good life... but i have frds that are absolutely messed up
J: and i always feel i'm in between
B: i like your frankness
B: that is why i always try to let you be you
B: not to control you
B: but to encourage you
B: that is the beauty about you
B: you are unique
J: everyone is
B: exactly
B: so never compare yourself to jem
B: i love you as you are