August 28, 2005

numb......

i have no feeling today...
strangely and surprisingly i felt numb at hearing it...
no anger, no panic...
it came like it was supposed to...
like i was expecting it...

but then, my tears kept bursting out...
and i couldnt stop it...
i didnt know what was happening...

sad...
it's a snese of sadness...
for who???

for myslef i guess...
useless, alone...
totally out of control...

expecting it...
but never could stop it...

it's a feeling of powerless,
a feeling of distanced...
and mess.

yea...

to protect...
to love...
and to hold...

how much can i really do...